


Undeserving

by mckvch (RaiseYourVoice)



Series: Tumblr prompts [49]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Guilty Arthur, Kissing, M/M, Magic Revealed, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 16:34:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12963678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaiseYourVoice/pseuds/mckvch
Summary: “I’m fine.” The words slipped past his lips easily enough but they were such an obvious lie that Merlin rolled his eyes at him, more fond than actually annoyed.“Come on, tell me. What’s on your mind? I can see that something is bothering you—has been for days now—but I wanted to wait for you to bring it up on your own accord.” The cloth Merlin had used to wipe down the table splashed back into the bucket by his feet and he looked at Arthur with an expression that told the prince there was no getting out of this talk.





	Undeserving

**Author's Note:**

> _“I don’t deserve to be loved.” for Merthur ♥_
> 
>  
> 
> Oi, I guess this is my first Merthur prompt? :D

_I love you._

The confession still echoed through Arthur’s head every time he tried to relax and allow his mind to take a rest. Weeks had gone by since Merlin had said those three words and at first, Arthur hadn’t been able to say them back because of the reveal that his servant was actually a sorcerer. The pain was still there now but it had dulled down and he actually felt almost comfortable with the knowledge by now.

Arthur still hadn’t addressed the whole confession, even though it was on his mind more often than not these days because he felt the same. Had felt like this for his clumsy manservant for a while now but now something other than the pain of having been lied to had been holding him back from voicing anything about feelings.

“Are you alright, sire?”

Merlin’s voice interrupted this endless running in circles of his mind and the prince raised his head that felt heavier with each passing day. 

“I’m fine.” The words slipped past his lips easily enough but they were such an obvious lie that Merlin rolled his eyes at him, more fond than actually annoyed.

“Come on, tell me. What’s on your mind? I can see that something is bothering you—has been for days now—but I wanted to wait for you to bring it up on your own accord.” The cloth Merlin had used to wipe down the table splashed back into the bucket by his feet and he looked at Arthur with an expression that told the prince there was no getting out of this talk.

He could have said anything, should have come up with some true enough sounding lie, but instead—

“I don’t deserve to be loved. Not by you.”

The silence settling over his chambers was ironically deafening and Arthur felt like it got harder to breathe by the second. He ducked his head with the sudden wave of shame washing over his mind—what if Merlin hadn’t even meant those words or his feelings had changed?—but the feeling of gentle fingers curling around his chin and tilting his head upwards made his mind pause for the first time in forever.

“What makes you say such a thing?” Merlin’s voice was soft, barely above a whisper, and his piercing blue eyes so intense that Arthur was completely lost for a stumbling heartbeat.

“The fact that I’m partly to blame for several deaths of other magic users,” Arthur said without batting an eye and there was so much more to this but this one sentence was easier than unravelling the whole pile of guilt lodged in his chest.

“Because you trusted the king’s— _your father’s_ —judgement and thought it was the right thing to do to protect your future kingdom,” his servant replied, terribly reasonable as always. “You made mistakes but you know better know and you’re willing to learn from them, not keep on going the same direction as before like your father.”

“That’s no excuse.”

“I didn’t say it was but beating yourself up about it won’t change the past but you are able to change the future and save a lot of lives from here on out. You’ll be a great king one day and that’s only one of the many reasons you deserve to be loved.”

Merlin’s smile was almost blinding, his fingertips pressing further against the line of Arthur’s jaw when he leant down to brush their mouths together so softly that it sent a shiver down the prince’s spine. Arthur’s eyelids fluttered down and he sighed against Merlin’s unfairly smooth lips, momentarily distracted from his worries.


End file.
